Truths Unleashed

My journey... discovering myself, with my Master.. and trying to find if this lifestyle it the right thing for me.

Monday, August 07, 2006

Misbehaved Bitch

i managed to did it again....i dissapointed Master.

Last night i came online just like every other night and waited for my Master.
In my head...i had just assumed that Master would come online by midnight, EST. i started to get a little annoyed by 12:30. i reallly was becoming a bitch and started to consider just going to bed without sending him any offline or without saying anything.
i completely forgot my place. i have waited for him in hte past... much longer than i had to wait last night... but my reaction last night was much different.
He came online at about 2:30 and when he saw my offline messages asking him where he was... he said, "how I love making you wait for me!"
i knew he did,.... and typically i would too. it always reminded me of his control, and superiority when i waited for him thru the wee hours.
i asked him about where he was and what was happening.. he had a friend over and they were watching a movie...
He soon realized that i was being a cold bitch and asked me if i was pissed off.
i did tell him i was a little bummed about the wait but also appologized.
He asked me about what i was feeling and why i was feeling that way.
He had never told me what time he was going to come online and it was my fault to just assume he would come online at a certain time.
He said that i was being a little bitch.
i agreed i was, appologized, asked for forgiveness...
i really deserved to be punished....
i forgot my place, and then i acted like a cold bitch when my Master came online.

He instructed me to write about this event on the blog.
He told me to think about what i want,.... and all i want is just for us to go back to how were were before last night... i just want to be punished and then i want us to just forget my reeally inappropriate behavior.
yesterday was a really bad day...and tthat was mainly the reason why i acted like such a bitch.

i also did another thing that i shouldnt have done....
after i started getting really bitchy about the wait... i broke one of His rules.
i went and put on my panties.
when i told Him about that He said that i needed to decide what i want.

i want us to be happy....i want Him to be proud of me
i was reallly sorry for how i acted and dissapointed him.

i behaved like a child... and He gave me a "time out" for it....
He asked me to tell him good night and kiss him and then go to bed.
I begged him to talk to me...he said he doesnt tolerate pouting.
my head was hurting at this point... nad my eyes red and swollen from the tears i shed at my own dissapointment.
i kissed Him goodnight and then turned off my laptop.
i had to cry myself to sleep cause i always disliked the mental punishments.

Master, i am again very sorry for my behavior. Please forgive me.

He also told me to describe an appropriate punishment for my actions...

so this is what i think would be appropriate...

For the rest of the week, i think stricter rules should be enforced. these rules should me much more intense compared to my current rules so that they will help me remember my place.
the punishment for breaking these rules should also be that much more intense.
Also...for the rest of the week i should put in really painful situations. When Master comes online every night, i should appear offline to everyone, and turn on my cam. i should not speak a word and wait for master to tell me what kind of physical pain he wants me to see in.
He could tell me to tie myself up, to clamp my tits and/or clit. i would just do as i am told to and show Him as i do so. once he tells me what to do, He would give me permission to speak. he would decide how long we stay online for the night. But i would stay in that painful situation until we say goodnights. i would only be allowed to untie myself, unclamp myself only after Master signs off.
Also on one of these days, i should be given a spanking. i would have to spank myself just the way Master would want me to...and i would have to do it as hard as i possibly could.
this should be the most painful spanking i have experienced....it would leave me sore and crying. once Master thinks the punishment is enough, he would make me stop.
At that point, i would have to kiss him goodbye and go to bed and think about my actions.
i should also write 'i will never forget my place' 250 or 500 times and send it to Master.
This week should test me...it should push me far...
i want to be reminded of my place every night. i want Him to be strict with me
at the end of my punishment, i will be very sorry and will never make a mistake like this again.

Master, please forgive me. i promise to be a good slave. Last night was just really immature. i acted like a child and im sorry. i will take the punishment you give me like a very good slave. i wont dissapoint you... please forgive me.


~ HIS slut/slave/whore/bitch