back to being me!

yaaay...he is back!!
lol
i wont say more... im gonna get him to do a post here!!
the begging and pleading seemed to work (when we talked last!)
lol

i dont want to wait...

i called him like a stalker today... im sorry Master...

i just want him to appear online RIGHT NOW!

ehhh

one week later

He comes back today....thank god for it!!!
i cant wait...
im back to being good...
i realized that im expected to be his good girl no matter what...
im his even wehen he isnt around...
so i have to be good
nad i am
but sorry for not being the way i should have always been
i love you
look forward to talking to u tonight!!

i have been a bad bad girl

ive been such a dirty slut in the past days...
ive been a very bad girl...and i know Master is going to be dissapointed.

Master has said that i am not allowed to wear panties...
and that just in itself makes me really wet....
i dont even remember the last time i cum... and i need to sooo bad!!

since the past 2 days i have been wearing my panties...
i just cant stand being wet all the time...
i know im supposed to
but it stinks without him around...
i dunno its been like 4/5 days
thats just a lot

i absolutely hate that i get turned on so easily
i sometimes hate that i am such a darn slut!!

i feel lost

i havnt talked to him since 2 days...
the nights arent the same... i was up until late both nights...
thinking that maybe he would come.
i guess i am just so used to Him being around.
:-)
i just feel empty and lost
i feel like im in a dark tunnel....lost without my guiding light.
without Him...

but im okay... i am happy...
i am very happy i have Him...



i love you baby. i miss you!!

wet pussy

i have been going through our past conversations and posts on this blog tonight...
and i came across things that have just left me dripping wet!!
i really wish i could touch myself!!!!
lol
it just drives me absolutely insane...
and every time i get turned on i just think about Master's cock wrapped around my lips and then Him shooting his load in my mouth.
god that felt soooooo good....
ummmmmm
and He tastes soooo great


lol its funny i often and how quickly i get turned on
and that could be such a pain for Master...

hey... im just a hungry bitch! lol
did He know what he was getting himself into?


if you have a cock around....it should be sucked and worshipped
no matter what...
thats the kinda rule i make...


so now....
shut up and take the dick in ut mouth bitch!

lol...just kidding!

Boot Camp

So i did talk to Master last night...
He used a candle while he was at a picnic table (at midnight) to help him type while he was talking to me.
That was so cute!

It didn't take me long to become naughty and say things that could earn me a spanking.
He is in Oregon for an intense week of music. i said that he was at boot camp.

It was amusing to me....to imagine Master being at a boot camp.
*giggles*

i told him that his Master's degree was revoked and that i was the new holder of that Master's degree.
i tried being the one in control and i tried being strict with him...

yeah...didnt work! LOL
He made it very clear that not only was he the Master, (and always would be) but also that i was his slave.
It was still amusing.
i love being naughty like that... cause i know he cant spank me!!!
ROFL

He says that He keeps track of all my screw-ups and that He will spank me when the time comes.
.... yeah right!! lol
i will get spanked.... that i know...but it will be one severe spanking instead of maybe 5!
so... good deal! lol

i am soooo going to be in trouble if he reads this..
and i am hoping he does!!
*blush*

Master away for a week

so last night i did manage to get a few pictures like Master had told me to...
they werent as hot as i would have wanted them to be.... but i did look
and i am glad Master liked the pictures i found...
i would have put some of them up here...but i deleted them last night.

today... im kinda low. Master is going to Oregon for a week, and we are not sure if the internet is going to be available.
we are strong and this will be just another test for us...and i know we will be fine... but i miss Him dearly... i already do!

He left we throbbing and dripping wet and said that it was how he wanted me to be until He got back.

it just drives me crazy when He turns me on so much...
when He makes me throb so hard... and He makes me squirm

it is wonderful that i wouldnt even touch myself even when i probably would want to.
i love feeling being completely controlled by Him

a real bitch

i was so mean and bitchy towards Master last night...
i guess it was all fun and jokes for me...and then i forgot my place and said something really mean. something a slave should be completely forbidden to say
i dissapointed Master
i feel bad
he gave me an assignment to find pictures of females ...it had to do with my post from last night.
and i have not been able to find any pictures
i have been looking but i am just not finding pictures that would be hot enough.

i feel crappy for have been a bad girl
its really not my thing because the guilt of dissapointing Master kills me
i am sorry Master

i promise that i will always remember my place and not talk back.
i will also do it and not give you a chance to be dissapointed in me.
i will be a good girl.
please forgive me.

So Damn Turned On

i am ssooooo wet tonight.
i have this thing for fast cars and the appropriate kinda music.
today i saw The Fast and Furious - Tokyo Drift. and it was so yummy.
i know its fake...but it was definately some eye candy
the cars were soo hot. adn then there were those hot asian chicks
with their teenie tiny little skirts that were barely covering their sexy asses.
yeah... i sound bi dont i?
lol. i guess i am if hot girls turn me on so much to make me dripping wet
but i wasnt thinking about doing anything with the girls... i was thinking about master spanking them and fucking them while i would be tied up and would have to watch helplessly for my turn
i was surprised that thought came to my mind.,... and it was something i really wanted and still would think of
those girls were just too damn fucking hot
lol
*blushes*
and then later today i was looking at the mitsubishi website and looked at the 2007 Mitsubishi Eclipse Spyder
god i want that!
more yummy eye candy
in the evening i just had to hop into my car and go for a nice long fast drive.
the noise of the car...the engine... everything made me so hot and wet
yes.... i can be obsessive when it comes to cars...lol

so in all....it was an irresistible day... and i was wet all day long.

i love you

i love you Master
thats all i can think of saying tonight.
looking forward to talking to You soon!
*kissses*

Spank Me Please

You scored as Hardcore Spanko. You are a spanko through and through. It's both in your genes and in your jeans. Spanking is a thrill you definitely want as part of your life. This quiz was brought to you by My Bottom Smarts. Hardcore Spanko 73% Softcore Spanko 3% Am I a Hardcore Spanko? created with QuizFarm.com

i could really use a no-safeword-allowed kinda spanking right now.
i've been a good girl.... i just need something really really painful.

the cane scares me... i dont know what it feels like... but i know it would hurt..
if he was here... i would probably beg for him to use his cane on me.

i miss him.... i miss him so damn much.
i need him.
very bad.

Another sexy night

i cant even explain how good it feel when he tells me what to do.
what he says and what he tells me to do isnt all that important... it is all about doing what he tells me to.
but i guess everyone reading this probably know what i am talking about since this isnt a vanilla blog!

after talking to him, i changed and dressed myself for bed as he told me to.
my pussy was wet and wanting... but i was a helpless sub.
squirming around... as my clit rubbed my thong.

and i was just about as wet when i woke up this morning as i was when i went to bed!!

girl on girl action

My second post for the day!!! lol i just have a lot in my mind.

i am just in a goofy mood....

i guess Barbie likes it rough!!

being Your whore

As i played with myself last night as you told me to, all i kept thinking about the look on Your face if You would have been watching.
i am Yours and only Yours...completely.
thank You for every little thing you do for me.
i love You.

Weird Me...

I have been out all weekend...and I am tired.
Most people would just want to crash after long drives and little sleep...
But even though I am tired... I dont want to sleep...
Yes... I know I am weird when it comes to sleep... it is not at all a priority for me!
I do it because I need to survive,... many times I have felt bored to go to sleep!!
But yeah...that's something not all that weird...

What I think is more weird is that I am really really horny.
And for most of the 5hr drive back home, I kept thinking about how wonderful it would be have Master's cock in my mouth...

I guess I surprise myself... because the weekend was really really exhausting...

Maybe Master shooting his cum to the back of my throat would be the thing that would put me to sleep.
I just crave him in my mouth...
I want him to grab my long hair and pull them hard.

I couldnt help but play with my hair as I was getting dripping wet as I thought about the things I wanted to do to him and what he would do to me.

arghh.. very horny...
very wet
and i want You bad.

Mixed Emotions

The title 'Mixed Emotions' might make you want to say uh-oh!
But no....nothing serious...!!!
Today had just been a really strange day...
My health seems to be at an all-time low... I have been surviving myself off of cough drops, cough syrup, and brandy with hot water....
I woke up with a fever and just felt like s*!t...
The fun part about being sick... I just load up on any medicine I get my hands on! (ok thats an exaggeration!)
The meds soon kicked it and the wonderful drowsy feeling came along...
I tried to do things around the house...but I couldnt...so i just plopped into bed and fell asleep right away.
Even though it made me feel better physically...it didnt do any good for my head. I just seemed to be having a lot of mood swings.
I was thinking about Master....
I was thinking about all the hard times we have had...
There was a lot of it in the beginning...when I wasnt sure what it was that I wanted.
I remember the times when his sweet words make me feel so safe and secure.

Tonight for some reason I felt very vulnerable and just desired to be very submissive.
We have been very vanilla of lately...and I enjoy his company very much.
But I guess tonight is different....

This is only a mini description of the different things I felt...I feel like I probably wouldnt even be able to put to words some of the things I felt.
It was kind of like I just needed to be held tight...

I figured I needed to calm myself down... and just clean my mind of all the thoughts that didnt need to be there.
I had a nice warm relaxing shower and then used my favorite lavender scent lotion.
I now have my favorite candle filling the room with the lavender scent....
I think there is just something about the smell of lavender that is just so calming...for me atleast!
And it being purple (Master's fav color) is a big help too!
It is special to do little things to feel his presence.

When he came online to say that he had a friend over and needed to talk... I just knew I had to wait...
me: "do you think you will be back later?"
him: "i can be here in an hour and a half. but thats really late i know."
(it was almost 1:30am then)
me: "thats fine...ill be here."
him: "thanks baby. youre wonderful."
me: "i love you"

Right then at that moment... things just felt right.

I have always thought that I wasnt a good enought submissive for Master.... but at that moment... I felt good about myself.
I liked that I didnt have to be told... I just knew waiting for him was the thing to do.
It is still selfish...because I really need to talk to him...even if it for 5 minutes...
but I guess I shouldnt be so hard on myself.
I have stayed up for him several times before, and to be fair... i have also fallen asleep in between conversations and while i was waiting for him...
The time difference used to be a big deal in the beginning...but I am used to it now.
Tonight just feels different... in a special way... i am happy..and i feel content.

I dont usually write long posts...but today I just needed to get things out.

I feel very special and lucky to have Master... i love him as a Master, as my boyfriend, and as a friend.
We have a beautiful and special relationship, and this is my way of saying thanks and being greatful about the things i have.
:-)


P.S. I found this pic HERE and thought i should share it here!



Update: Things were just perfect when he came online later. He said i was crazy! :-)
And then after talking a few minutes I said that we could just go to bed since it was late for both of us. And then... I am not sure what he was feeling or thinking, he told me he wanted to fuck me really hard. Him saying that got be dripping wet instantly and just made me want to rub my clit to an orgasm.
He kept talking about the things he would and the way he would treat me. I told him I needed him to hurt me and he said he would.
I kept telling him how much my clit hurt and how wet I was.... wanting him to tell me to touch myself and cum.
And then... after just a lot of teasing... i just came without neeeding to touch myself. It had been a while since I had done that...and it felt wonderful. It just was the kind of releace I needed. I thanked Master and told him I loved him.

Master,
Thank you for a wonderful night!
- Your Slut.

Memories

While I was blog hopping today, I was reminded about the wonderful things that happened when Master was here...
Good girl 's latest post reminded me of the wonderful things...

I rememberd when he told me to get in bed with him naked....
I remembered wrapping my body around him... him holding me as we lay there in peace

But the peace would almost always be followed by some silly act.

I remember how I was being a naughty brat and kept trying to push him off the bed... but every time I would try he would leave me hanging off the edge of the bed saying sorry to him...
The evil part.. he still let go of me and let me fall off!
(Not like it was that bad... i was already so close to the ground... but hey... i said i was sorry!!)
lol
And since it was an evil thing on his end...i tried pushing him off again...
ofcourse... it didnt work!
im just trying to justify what i did!
lol

i miss him
i miss all our stupid goofy times together

Meme Time

Hmm I'm just to do this meme for fun... Don't really have much to say tonight!

1) Bold what is true about you. (in red)
2) Italicize what you wish was true about you. (in green)
3) Add one true thing about you to the end of the list.
4) Tag five friends (no tags, only if you want to do it)

* I miss somebody right now.
* I don't watch much TV these days.
* I own lots of books
* I wear glasses or contact lenses.
* I love to play video games.
* I've tried marijuana.
* I've watched porn movies.
* I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
* I believe honesty is usually always the best policy.
* I curse sometimes. As opposed to constantly.
* I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
* I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
* I have broken someone's bones.
* I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
* I hate the rain.
* I'm paranoid at times.
* I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
* I need/want money right now.
* I love sushi.
* I talk really, really fast.
* I have fresh breath in the morning.
* I have long hair.
* I have lost money in Las Vegas. (because that would mean I've been to Vegas)
* I have at least one sibling.
* I was born in a country outside of the U.S. (India)
* I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
* I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
* I like the way that I look.
* I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months
* I am usually pessimistic.
* I have a lot of mood swings.
* I think prostitution should be legalized.
* I slept with a roommate.
* I have a hidden talent.
* I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
* I have a lot of friends.
* I have pecked someone of the same sex.
* I enjoy talking on the phone.
* I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (of lately..)
* I love to shop and/or window shop.
* I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.
* I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
* I have a cell phone.
* I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
* I've rejected someone before.
* I currently like/love someone.
* I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
* I want to have children in the future.
* I have changed a diaper before.
* I've called the cops on a friend before.
* I'm not allergic to anything.
* I have a lot to learn.
* I am shy around the opposite sex.
* I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
* I have at least 5 away messages saved.
* I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
* I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
* I own the "South Park" movie.
* I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
* I enjoy some country music.
* I would die for my best friends.
* I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist. (about certain things)
* I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
* Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
* I have dated a close friend's ex.
* I am happy at this moment.
* I'm obsessed with guys.
* Democrat.
* Republican.
* I am punk rockish.
* I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
* I study for tests most of the time.
* I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
* I can work on a car.
* I love my job(s).
* I am comfortable with who I am right now.
* I have more than just my ears pierced. (I bet Master is grinning about this one! ;-) )
* I walk barefoot wherever I can.
* I have jumped off a bridge.
* I love sea turtles.
* I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
* I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
* I am proficient on a musical instrument.
* I hate office jobs.
* I went to college out of state.
* I am adopted.
* I am a pyro.
* I have thrown up from crying too much.
* I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
* I fall for the worst people.
* I adore bright colors.
* I usually like covers better than originals.
* I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.
* I can pick up things with my toes.
* I can't whistle.
* I have ridden/owned a horse.
* I still have every journal I've ever written in.
* I talk in my sleep.
* I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.
* I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
* I wear a toe ring.
* I have a tattoo.
* I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
* I am a caffeine junkie.
* I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.
* If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.
* I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
* I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
* I'm an artist. (Not technically... but I can draw!)
* I am ambidextrous.
* I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.
* If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.
* I have terrible teeth.
* I hate my toes.
* I did this Meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.
* I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
* I have lived in either three different states or countries or provinces
* I am extremely flexible.
* I love hugs more than kisses.
* I want to own my own business. I'll never get rich working for somebody else.
* I smoke.
* I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
* Nobody has ever said I'm normal.
* Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.
* I am proficient in the use of many types firearms and combat weapons.
* I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.
* I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.
* I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
* I have played strip poker with someone else before.
* I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.
* I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
* I can't stand being alone.
* I have at least one obsession at any given time.
* I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
* I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.
* I'm a judgmental asshole.
* I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
* I have traveled on more than one continent.
* I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.
* I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
* I am a Libertarian.
* I can speak more than one language.
* I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be. (only if i am tired enough)
* I would rather read than watch TV.
* I like reading fact more than fiction.
* I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
* I have no piercings.
* I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.
* I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
* I've been married and am now divorced.
* There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.
* I like most animals better than most people.
* I own a collection of retro game consoles.
* The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.
* I have hit someone with a dead fish.
* I have written/read erotic stories.
* I am compulsively honest.
* I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired. (is there a maybe option??? lol)
* I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
* I have gone from wishing I was a boy to revelling in being a girl to feeling like a boy again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.
* I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.
* I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
* I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.
* I dislike milk.
* I obsessively wash my hands.
* I always carry something significant around with me.
* Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.
* I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
* Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.
* I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.
* I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
* I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.
* Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.
* I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
* I do not 'get' most comedy acts.
* I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.
* I don't like to chew gum.
* I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.
* I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.
* Had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
* I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.
* I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.
* I love to sing.
* I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.
* I have a custom-built computer.
* I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
* I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.
* I've gone skinny-dipping.
* I've performed in three plays, all of them Shakespeare.
* I enjoy burritos.
* I'm Irish and lovin' it.
* I have a thing for redheads.
* I am a twin!
* Most times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.
* Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
* I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.
* I wish I could do High School all over again.
* I have big interest swings every year.
* I have loved Pokemon since the beginning and continue to do so.
* There's no genre of music I dislike.
* I've read every work written by my favorite author(s)
* No matter how much I sleep, I'm always tired.
* I'd rather eat out than cook.
* I am obsessed with actors that are older than I am.
* I can move my little toes independently.
* I enjoy purchasing and wearing articles of clothing and/or accessories that have skulls on them.
* I trip over my own feet at least once a week. (I am very clumsy!)
* I hate not knowing how to love
* I still fantasize once in a while about an ex.
* I find incredible freedom in being restricted.
* I love being housebound in a blizzard.
* I am a libra.
* I love classic 80's movies of teen angst (Breakfast Club, etc).
* I am currently trying to break an addiction.

My anal boyfriend!!!

Like I have mentioned before... I like collecting kinky pictures online and then sharing them with Master.
We did some of that last night...and I got the pictures from Doug's website.
This is a great website...
Master has a thing for bimbos so I have learned a lot from there!

But last night was different... I learned something new about Master...
I had known he was picky... and I know that he pays attention to the itty bitty details...
but ....
well let me just show what happened...

This is the picture I shared with him...



He takes some time to adore the picture...
And then asks me what country I thought the picture was taken in...
I respond America and asked him what he thought?
He told me to see the brand names on the towels..
To which...all I can say is oh my god!

Oh and then... he said... she does have nice boobs.
And all I can say is that I thought that he would never notice!

lol
silly him! silly us!
This is definately a very vanilla-ish post...but that's the best part about him...

I could be a good obedient slave one day and a spoiled little brat the other!!

PS. I love you either ways!

happy 4th of july!

Hope everyone enjoyed their 4th of July (I am talking as though I get a lot of hits on this blog! lol)

I did a post yesterday morning..and then deleted it in the evenign
I guess it was just this lil mood swing that led me to be unsure if Master was happy with me or not. :-)
And I know he is... and that is the most important thing...
It was a relief to just tell him what I was feeling...
He just fixes all my ups and downs and makes things just right!
I love him for that (and a lot more!)
I wanted to thank Padme for her comment and support..and I am sorry I decieded to delete it. But thank you!

We shared kinky pictures last night... and I plan on collecting some more for him today.
And I shall have some hot pictures on here hopefully tommorow!

Right now....

I still can see his mark from when he spanked me when he was here... more than a week ago!
It's almost gone... but still very much there!

I have been thinking about his visit
And all the fun times....

I have been thinking about every kiss
About every time he held my hand...
about my spankings
about every time i sucked on his cock


I am very wet and horny!
I need him soooo bad