Our Story

Hello people...
I say that mostly because this is for the others here that do read my personal blog.

This post is mainly things Master wants me to do...
So basically you will keep seeing this same post for a while... BUT I will keep making updates.

So please do scroll down for updates.

First.... let's talk about Master and me. :-)
As you all might have already read, we met in a Yahoo! chat room back in September.
And I think how it went down is kinda funny.

He was already in the room.
I entered the room just wanting to find me a Master!!! I look through the list and check out a few profiles. But nothing interesting... until I see him.
'Strict Professor' was what it said... and it put a smile on my face.
At that time I just needed someone to be firm with me....tell me to spank myself hard... spread my legs wide in front of the camera for him without even knowing who he really is!!!

Anyways,... I checked his profile. I was reading about him... when the most weirdest thing happened.
He sends me an instant message!!
That just felt strange in a way... I told him how I was just looking at his profile!

And I guess that's where it all began.

He was/is in California... me in North Carolina.
The time difference was a real pain in the first week!!
I was used to being up... until maybe 1 or 2... but then we would be up until about 3 or 4 my time. And I have to say.... it was hard for me.
I did just go to sleep I think 2 days in the first week without talking to him.

I thought it was crazy to be up so late just to talk!!

And now... that's what I survive on!!!
I was out if town and faaaar from reach of the internet over the weekend.. and that is when I realized how we are just used to talking all the time!!
It's an incomplete feeling when we dont get to talk!!

So this was out history...
our future....that's what this post is supposed to be about!!

Luckily he got to pick NC for one of his business trip destinations!!
So he is going to be in town in the middle of June.
not too far from now!!

I don't think it's completely sinked into my system yet that I am going to meet him.
This is a huge thing... huger than what it typically would be...

This is my first time meeting someone off the internet.
This is my first time meeting someone from the lifestyle...
This could be (I think it will be!!!) the first time I get spanked...
or tied,.... or the first time someone controls me... away from the computer screen!!

We have been through ups and downs...and we do have more on our way... but that's okay.

There was a point where I wasnt sure if an interest in the lifestyle was just a fantasy or something more.
There was a point where we just had our doubts and feared all the obstacles from my side into the relationship.

Now I have different kind of things I feel about our upcomming meeting.
I am anxious
and nervous
excieted
eager
restless

i know it's all the same kinda meaning... but you get the clue!!!
lol

He wants me to get to talk to a few people here about how I feel...
So I guess that explains my visiting other blogs and trying to get to know more people from the lifestyle!!
I hope that the comments on here will be able to help me with this wonderful opportunity !!


Update -
June 1st. 2006

I dunno what happened...but there is something wrong with my laptop.
It just wont turn on...keeps giving some kinda errror or something
ehhhh
I had pitures and everything on there
fucking stupid
updates on hold until i figure out what i can do!

Update -
June 3rd. 2006

I havnt even made an effort to get my laptop fixed...
I just feel like I need him all the time...
I feel empty
:-(
I need you Master

Update -
June 3rd, 2006.

I am working on the Master's assignment.
Click HERE to see it.. (its not up yet as of 11PM EST)
In the meantime....
here is somehting I found on good girl's blog
Master..., am I a good girl?? ;-)

Submissive Slut You are 69 % submissive and 54 % in favour of rough handling.

You try your best to serve your Master well, but often mess up, resulting in a punishment. You're probably still in need of training, but sure getting there. You're more likely to lean towards pleasure through sex than torture, but you're definately not made of glass and can take on surprisingly rough things should your Master so oblige. If you have anything to comment on, or questions you think might fit to be added, feel free to drop me a line.

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 77% on submission You scored higher than 70% on pleasure-pain

Link: The Bondage Type Test written by Kameleontti on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

I just love you

I just wrote a quickie post before this one... but I think I need to put in more time...

Friday morning didn't seem all that bad.... I was still thinking about our conversation from Thursday night. Friday night did feel a little weird... There was no internet... I couldnt even get a signal on my phone...
It was weird knowing that I can't get up and talk to you... not that night... not the night after that either.

We did a lot of things on Saturday. I will show you pictures tonight and probably post some on here too later.
Saturday night the adults (not me!) deccieded to go to a casino in the mountains.
I did a LOT of thinking.

We are now at this point where June is right around the corner.
So much closer are the days when we finally get to hold each others, kiss, love.... and hope make everlasting memories to say the least.
Just about 2 more weeks :-)
You know it kinda makes me nervous... but do know that I trust you with all my heart.
We have grown so close in the past 9 months... I really don't feel like I am about to meet someone I havnt met before.
I have come to a point where I have started about what to wear.... how to do my hair... wear glasses or not?? LOL
I know I will just do what ever is comfortable in the end... but still ...its...
ummm I dont know the right words

I am just very happy and excieted.... and anxious

I am ready to experience a lot of firsts with you... :-)
I do have good news...
My period... no worries about that any more. lol. it shouldnt come in the way!
AND
well... nevermind... ill let this one be a tease!! ;-)

Moving on....
the whole of Sunday and Monday morning were pretty okay.
On a whole it's been okay... there were some bad moments...but its all cool. dunt matter now cause its over.

hmm...
I am gonna keep some to tell u later on...
This is it for now...
or i think it is! lol



I LOVE YOU

missed youi loads

Hey baby
I just got back from my mountain visit...and....
God have I missed you in the past 3 days!!!

I can't wait to talk to you tonight.

I dont ever want to go away like this...
3 days no talks is waaaay too long...!!!

Missing you loads

Lots of hugs n kisses

B

day 21

I am at a loss for words....
I am not even sure what it is that I feel.... about our conversation last night.
Things will be better a little over 3 weeks from now when we will have a chance and decide if there is something 'real' here...

I am worried about your dad
and your mom...
and most importantly ...you

Please be strong in this real difficult time, just like you have been so far.... your mom needs you.

I will be here for you tonight.
I love you

day 20

I just did it for the 3rd time today...
Sticking 2 fingers deep inside me wet pussy... tightening my muscles as much as I can...while I pinch and play with my tits, watch porn, and tell myself that I am my Master's hot little bitch....

Multi tasking!!

Maybe a little too much for a bimbo like me.. (or a progressing one... I am making progress every day! Today, I banged my head to the top of the car while I was getting in!)

The first time with you was soo strong. ... I am so glad you let me cum.
I was still in bed,... and so it was a good way to get me started!

The second time... I was out shopping. I had to excuse myself and run to the restroom and stay in there for 5 mins...
The whole thing was so strong... I peed over my fingers and hands...
I left them in as I still hadnt completed my 5 mins..

And then now when I did it again when I got home...
My nipples are hurting... and they are verrry hard...
My pussy wetter... and staying wet without much effort.

My wet spot so easily visible on my khakhi pants
So tight are the pants... I can feel it when I walk
The wetness rubs against my hard, sensitive, and wanting clit...
Pushing me further and further at the edge...
It's becoming harder and harder to control my desire to cum...

I can't cum... especially since you made it officially a rule today that I am not allowed to cum without your presence and without you telling me to do so.

Not being able to ask...

I think I ask almost every time...
I guess this way will be a good way to learn how to control when I do cum.


I am still thinking about that story I told you...
And looking online for bimbos to talk to...and to learn from them... how to be a bimbo...

Maybe we should do it like how you did it with Brandi....
I would love to be as much of a bimbo slut as her... and love you... and worship ur cock...

I need to stop...

All of this will make me cum....

2nd one for today

Well technically it's tommorow... so oh well this could be the day 20 post...
but whatever...

I am just writing to say that I have been thinking about you.. :)
and us...
And things to come one month from now.... :)

I cant wait to meet you and to be with you....
I cant wait to be actually punished for being a naughty cum slut ;-)

I love you

day 19 - Weekend Review

The weekend was on a whole good for me...
I was kinda unhappy ofcourse that we wouldnt be able to talk...but then I guess next weekend is going to be worse as I'll be gone for 3 nights.

Saturday started out being a quite stressful.... but I did finally get to tell my parents all that I had in mind.
I guess they don't really undestand me... and they know I have a hard time controlling my anger and stuff.
Guess I need to go to the library and get some anger management books. LOL
Things are not bad right now... I think my anger is quite normal... just that my mom is extraaa patient...so that makes me seem really angry.
But if I dont do anything about it....things could get bad.
So better umm learn how to control it.

But when we got to the park it was fun. It got bad in the evening... it rained.. I got wet (both ways! ;-) ) and then I got sick since I was cold and didnt have any spare clothes.

But oh well.....
It was a nice change to get a full nights sleep :-)
even though I did wake up a couple times. I think I am just used to waking up in the middle of thhe night now...

Sunday was fun.
I rode 3 rollercoasters!!!
lol
I am a pussy so it's a big deal!!
The BORG was fun... I had been on it before...so I knwe what was happening..!!

The Vortex was scary!!! and uncomfortable since I was wearing tight jeans!!

Dont have the link to the 3rd one...but that was easy...

And then I got a great tan!!
lol
So yeah tht was my weekend...

I know things are not so smooth on your end...
Just hang in there...
And I guess just spend as much time as you can with your dad.
I hope he is not going through a lot of pain.
I love you.

Talk to you later tonight.
Hope this wasnt too booring!!

(Going to see Da Vinci Code tonight!!!)

Story

I was going to do the story... but I am not at all turned on... :-(

I'm gonna try again later... but I don't think I can ...

Sorry!!

day 16

I know the message I left you makes it seem like things are real bad...
And they kinda are...but not so bad.
Just don't worry about it... I will be fine.
I miss you...

Hope we talk tonight...if not, I guess we will talk on Sunday.
I'm going to try to finish that story for you tonight :-)
Hope it turns out good :-P
I love you
Kisses


10:45PM - I am just writing once again if we don't get to talk tonight...
I know you might worry...about whaat I said
But dont... I am fine. I am feeling much better now.,..really.
So ... dont worry :-)
I am gonna shave my legs now...and get things ready to take tommorow and work on finishing up the story.
Enjoy reading it!!!
Love you. Kisses

And oh...unfortunately my clit hasnt been as wet as usual. So tonight.,.. Im putting on those sexy short shorts :-D

day 15

9:20AM - I do this all the time.... I give up too easy...
I am not going to get the dog...not right now..
I really need my family to support what I am doing since I am living with them....

I decieded while I was driving my mom to work...

And then I thought how this could be used as being an indication of how I would deal with the difficulties we would have to face..
Please dont think like that... please believe in me...
That's just one thing I need so bad... because I dont think there is anyone that really believes in me...

If only I could be spanked right now...


:-(

9:30PM - Today has been a pretty hard day.. with things at home.. especially my aunt and cousins.
Everyone sseems to enjoy pointing out all the negatives in me...
I am the only person here at home that has faults...and everyone else is perfect
And everyone enjoys pissing me off... knowing very well what they are doing

I am going to bed now... When I wake up I dont even wanna think about today
Id rather not talk about it... It sucks when no one understands you

The things you do....

I just love how things you say... completely non-sexual things you say... can turn me on like a ummm dirty filthy whore that I am. lol
Sorry...at a loss of words here...

You know how I absolutely love when you tell me to do things....

And staying up until you come back is just one of those things that builds up all the anticipation and desire...

haha yes i am wet already!!!

Anyways... I better go and work on that story I told you I was working on... hopefully it turns out to be as hot as my 'Please fuck me' one... that was a HOT one!
lol

day 14

12:20PM - Kissss. Thanks for last night... it was just wonderful. It's good when you wake up and think about the night before and it brings a smile to your face.
Well not that I dont smile when I think about you on any other day...but yesterday was just a special warm feeling...
I love you :-)

2:40PM - I misssssssssssss you.
And you know how I tell you about the blogs I read... I think I am going to stop. Atleast some... becuase it kinda makes me sad to see people being able to enjoy a spanking when they deserve... All I get to cuddle with is my oversized pillow :-(
lol. dont worry... I am fine... I guess it goes with the whole needy thing..
The good thing... one more month...
It's kinda weird... and doesnt seem real... and I have a feeling it wont completely sink in until I finally get to see you... and touch you... and kiss you.... :-)
I love you baby... a lot..

3:50PM - JAMES BOND IS LUCKY! Yes he is... he gets to make out so much...
ARGHHHH
lol. yes yes I am wet and throbbing and needy and desperate.
Geez it's been a long time!!

4:20PM - uh huh... I have more to say...
Its like I feel like I just fell in love with you
like that new, fresh, blushy, butterflies in my stomach kinda feeling
lol
mmmmmmmmmmm kisssssss
love is in the air!! *blushing*

10:20PM - STRESSED OUT!!
So this afternoon I ended up going to my boss' house... she has 2 Westies and she told me to come over and play with the dogs and see what they are like..
So I went... and they were really cute and fun and sweet...
When I did research breeds Westies were one of the 2 i had narrowed down to.. and now I cant remember the other breed I had looked at.
So anyways...this evening I have been looking a lot online
and reading a lot aboout different kinds of terriers... those are what my boss told me about and also those you told me about...
And it's really stressful. I am scared what if I am not doing the right thing...
And no one supporting me makes it more difficult..
Is it the right time??? The right breed?
Can I afford it??
Arghh and it's time like these when I just want to just raise my hands and give up.
I am so bad under stress.. maybe I should just let this thought go...
And maybe get one afterwards...when maybe I am living by myself and don't have to worry about others...
I dunno....

day 13

1:40PM - I am such a dirty whore to be wet and throbbing at all times. I feel like I have got to this point where all I think about is my clit.
I walk and sit in such a way that I make sure I can feel my naked body between my legs.
They are so wet and desperate...and hungry

I cant wait till you fuck me mercilessly. Till you hurt me so bad that I beg and cry to you.


I want it soo bad

2:30PM - I want it soooooooo badddd
:-((

10:55PM - it's been a loooong day.
Im tired... going to bed. Talk to you soon. kisses

day 12

Today was such a great day!!!

First of all my clit has been enjoying being teased and it has been wet and soaked...

Then I cooked some amazing lunch.. mexican food... it was yummy stuff

And then.... the best part...

We went to look at dogs... and I got to play with this realllllllllly cuteeeeee one!!!



That's him!!!!!


It was so cool... I was scared at first...but he was so soft. And he was licking my hands and legs!!
:-)

So now I have to get info and think about it...
I know what I am doing... I understand how serious this is../

And I am confident I can do it...

hehe Im happy!!!

day 11

5:45PM - hi baby!! lol it's been an emotional day!!! LOL. but i am glad we got to talk before i went in there... I am sorry i woke you up...
i love you...
(btw... i am WET!) lol

day 10

4:15PM - Today has been sooo stressful
I just don't do well when there are loads of people around.... I know they are here for me... but all I wanna do is just go away and not be home....
And then when I am home....all I do is eat
I have been eating so much...
Probably twice as much as what I usually do..
ehh
crappy day
But I will be here tonight... Im gonna go to the guestbedroom that has the small bed...so ill be alone.
There are going to be 5/6 people in my bedroom....
ehh they better not leave a mess behind...or thats another thing to get mad over!!

day 9

11:40PM - I am soooo damn wet
mmmmm
this is the kinda wet ud want me to be when you wnna fist me
soo wet
and my clit throbs

god i hope i can stay that wet for another hr!!!

day 8

12:00PM - Umm... yes it hurts again. But the bad part...I have real bad heartburn and a horrible horrible headache.
I guess this is a proof of what a slut I am...
Ummm...

I dunno what time it is... maybe 2/3 PM??? - I have no time to pay attention to the clit
or any part of my body for that matter
My 2 bosses and their husbands are coming over for dinner today
And mom is at work..... and me and my aunt just dont get along in the kitchen..
I am such a neat freak and she is making such a mess it is driving me crazy!!
I did make a curry and a potato dish...hope they like it~!!

9:30PM - so dinner went well ..I think. Kinda weird cause our way of doing things is diff from the american way...
whatever
lol my clit is back in action
and begging and throbbing
lol.
cant wait till we talk tonight!!
i love you!!
kisses

day 7

I'm sorry I didn't write anything on here yesterday...
Today was a good day mainly... enjoyed being on the beach...
Even though it was cold... it was good to just lay in the sun..
And I did get to think a lot..
About us.. and our conversation last night

I am glad we both said the things we did...
Although I am very sorry that I made you cry...
And I said what I said without really thinking about it... and it was the kinda stuff that would hit hard...

Anyways... I am glad we had the conversation
And right now we just need to give each others the time to figure things out
and also to wait until we meet and see how it goes

Most importantly... I want you to know that I love you dearly...and with all my heart.
Yes I know we have been talking online for about 8 months now... Maybe that is too quick...
Maybe it is too hard to believe that there can be something real here

However, when it comes to our relationship, one of the things that I am sure about is how I feel towards you...as far as I know you on here.
And this has been such a open and intense relationship that I feel like I know the real you...
It is just about making that click when we meet...
It doesnt have to be the very first time...or right away
I think I might be too nervous at first...
But as we have said before... if it is meant to be... it will be

I better end this here.....
:-)
I love you

day 5

havnt posted today... i guess i havnt really been home

today... im still getting used to being without a panty
it still feels so naked
and that feeling in itself is a turn on

hmmm
thats about it...
kisses

Day 4

9:30am - Hey.... Bad day... first of all it wasn't a good idea to stay up... yeah i stayed up./... just didnt feel like sleeping...so I just kinda did nothing for an hour and then watched a movie... and hten i got done at abbout 7... and i went to have a shower right away
now my back and stomach hurt
and yeah...with keeping my pussy wet... like always my clit hurts..

ahh no more complaining!!

kisss.... i love you... more later today!!

11:45am - So this is the 100th post on here...
I am feeling so weird...
I have a bad bad headache...
Ive already had 2 cups of coffee and its just not kicking in...
and my cousin was just messing around with the hanger..
and i asked him to hit me
ehhh
i dunno
and hten i hit myself
goodness
sigh

sorry

I am so sorry... I didn't want to... I swear I didn't...
It hurt so bad to think that you would punish me... or tell me what to do and then just not wait for me to say something
I know this is my fault
And I know you didnt walk away
But when I asked you if you were there and you didn't say anything..
It just made me want to ask if you really even cared
I know you do,....
And I walked into the bathroom with every intention of spanking myself
It was just 21 times... that wasn't the big deal...
But then I looked at myslef in the mirror and just thought about how I have been used before...
How I've just been seen as a toy and nothing else...
And I know that's not you...
But I associated that with you telling me to spank myself and then just not saying anything ...since I didnt know you got a phone call... I asked myself if it was happening right again
I tried to just make myself do it...without caring about how i felt... but i couldnt...
I didnt want to put myself into that position...
and I walk back to you...feeling weak and hurt...
and thats when I see you got a phone call...

I know Im a dissapointment... I know you didnt like what I did
I didn't either ...
And I still wish I had without even thinking about it
Just thinking about it as something I have to do... and that's it..




And then you tell me to go to bed and that you would talk to me tommorow
That just seemed like an all too familiar situation...
about Paul
I have not once thought about him since I have met you until now...
it wasnt a punishment ...bt that's exactly what he did...
Kept me hanging and just walked out on me
It doesnt matter what he did
I have met the most wonderful person in the world because of what he did...
But then you saying that....
I am sorry my stupidity led to this...
Im sorry I didnt spank myself the way I should have
im sorry my actions made you unhappy


I know what I did was wrong
And I know I dewserved to be punished
But please dont do this to me....please dont walk out on me like that...

Please forgive me..
Punish me... Ill do anything you want me to....
anything
but please dont walk out on me....

How much you care about me and how much you have loved me is more than what I deserve...
Lying to you and disobeying you I know is the wrost thing I could ever do...
And I wont forgive myself for what I did...


But please forgive me


Im sorry
im sorry i dissapointed you

i promise ill be good...
please forgive me



im sooooo sorry
:-(

Day 3

12:40PM - Last night was good :-)
I ended up staying up until 6 in the morning.... just thinking :-)
lol then I woke up at 10
mmmm Im not too wet... just moist and kinda hard
but nothing too bad... nothing i can't take! lol
i love you :-)

i think what i'll do now is that i'll publish this post and keep adding onto it when I have something more to say

1:50PM - so I have my back scrather right here...
and what am I thinking?
how it would be if you were here...
You would tell me to stay on the chair... spread my legs wide
and then spank my pussy hard with it
mmmm
ive managed to stay wet without having to rub my clit...
i guess i need to ask you if im supposed to rub it every time my clit hurts... i think i am... not sure though..
i guess i havnt been following the rules properly if im supposed to
im so freaking wet

2:25PM - still wet... wetter..
my clit is so hard
the wet spot is visible on my pants
im such a dirty slut

4:45PM - it's ridiculous how many times I need to come here...throbbing and wanting
my nipples hurt soo bad
its only what 2 days... of being turned on all the time
i cant imagine what it would be like in the long run
argghhh i wanna cummmmmmm

Day 2

8:00AM - my clit is hard.... but I don't feel bimbo-ish. LOL that might be a good thing considering I have my big accounting final today. Gonna go eat breakfast now...shall update when I get back from the test... Wish me luck!!! MUAH!

3:00PM - it's good to have it done and out of the way!! PHEWW! And right when I get out of class...my naughty clit starts acting like a bad girl... amazing how the body works!!
So I am sitting here in the library...with some extra time on my hand... feeling my juices slowly work their way around my curves..
And as I type that... it begins to throb.
I wanna cum soooo bad....

9:30PM -- God that story was somehting!! Don't you know how to turn me on!!!!
I have not been this wet in a while...
my pants were all wet when I went down for dinner...
and it felt gooooood
mmmm
I cant think... I love you....

Day 1

3:45PM - yesss you leave me wanting you sooooo bad. i am sooo freaking wet. the spot on my pants keeps getting bigger
I wonder how intense it would be if I would actually have the piercing right now... mmmmmm..
I feeel sooo slutty and soooooooo good...mmmmm

6:42PM - i keep getting wetter and wetter and wetter... My wet spot is so easily visible... Im sitting with a pillow between my legs...
What would I say if someone noticed it? That I am just being a nice and obidient slut??

9PM - I love this so much.. It just feels soooo dirtyyy. Dinner was hard... i could feel the juices just trickling between my legs... I sat so that my pant would be rubbing by pussy at all times. I am such a cum whore. Thank you for doing this to me Master... I feel like I am at a place I deserve to be at... wet, aching... ready for you... and whatever it would be that you would want to do with me... Would you spank my clit like you mentioned earlier? That would hurt sooooo bad since it's wet and swollen and so sensitive right now. I would cry...in pain... but enjoying every bit of it.. because that's what a filthy cum whore like me deserves. I deserve to be in pain as my Master wishes. I am a bimbo toy... i have to be wet at ALL times ...ready and just thirsty for you Master. You don't deserve a pussy that isn't wet... And also... by being wet all the time... it becomes my little way of saying thanks to you. And all the things you do to me. I deserve all the spankings, beatings, mouth fucks, and dirty little words... I am such a dirty filthy cocksucking cunt.. and I love what you are doing to me!

12;35AM - I want you soooo bad,..... im ad ripping wet cunt slut... im YOUR dripping wet cum slut