Back 'Home'

So I am back to the place I call home...while I have been out looking for a place to call home..
Allrite... I have been out job hunting... but then its the same thing as finding a new place,...
Being jobless, with no significant amount of money, no significant job experience sucks...lol
But oh well... I dont wanna talk about it.

I wanna be fucked hard
used...over and over
but not allowed to cum
not at all....

and i should be whipped and caned hard if i do...

there are times when you feel a bunch of werid things....today is one of those days for me.

i am hoping he will be horny tonight... but i dont think he will be.. oh well!

Update. I know he is back to work when I am back to the late nights!! Its almost 3:30am and now even the insomniac me is getting tired n sleepy. but i dunno...should i stay up a lil longer? its been crazy....i went to bed last night/today morning after 2am...and woke up at around 7am. and then a painful 5.5 hr drive back home...and now its 3:30am...and i have another interview tommorow at 10. great huh? yep/.... ill go to bed. im sorry baby. im really tired. hope eveything is ok there. hopefully we can talktommorow. i love you!

Stressed Out

I am absolutely completely freaking stressed out...
Too many things going on...
I dont wanna discuss my personal life on here... but life can get really shitty when you are about to make major changes in your life and seems like no one is supporting you...

But anyways... I am very lucky that I have Him by my side every step of the way.
He is definately my guiding light and helps me stay strong in this difficult time.
Thank you baby for being there for me...
I wouldnt have been able to do any of things I have done so far and the things that I hope to accomplish in the future without you.
I cant put to words how greatful I am...I cant thank you enough.
I love you very much.

I MISS YOU!!

This whole being in Maryland thing with no internet at home SUCKS!
I miss YOU!
:-(
And then your busy work schedule and the time difference makes things even worse...

But tonight... I want you to call me.
I AM NOT GOING TO BED UNTIL YOU CALL.
And I am so NOT kidding about that.

Call me....PLEASE!!
I miss you.
:-(

p.s. i did get to talk to him! and now i feel happy and complete... its kinda a weird feeling when we talk every day and then go a few days without talking!
i look forward to talking tonight...i love you baby!

no to BDSM

I just want him to hold me... hold me tight in his arms...
I dont want to be the slave/submissive tonight...
But then again I also want to...cause that is really who I am...

I really dont know what I want...
All I know is that I need him....

I HATE the mood swings that come with those damn monthy cycles...


update - its 3:20AM and no sign of him. I need him. Im not gonna go to bed. I dont care... I will be here waiting for you my love.

My Unpredictable Master

In my last post from last night (before he came online) I said that I wasnt really in the mood.
He came online and he just worked his magic.
He was doing all he could to drive me absolutely nuts and it was working very darn well!
I love it when he turns me on so much...especially when I least expect it.
He was going to have a busy night, and I thought he would be tired.
But oh well... after teasing me for a long time he told me to go get the silver bullet he got me when he visited...
And oh that was just the thing to end the night...

In the end......... I was tired, satisfied, and a happy little submissive. :-)

I love it when he puts me to bed like that!!!

Before I get my beauty sleep..

Beauty sleep as he called it! (i am refering to the title!)

So this is gonna be a quick post...
I am sooo damn wet...
the whole horny slut thing without actions is so not fun
and i know we cant really have fun online either
but oh well
im gonna get a few hrs of sleep tonight and then wake back up and wait for him :-)
I love waiting for him...
And while i wait.,... i plan on collection some hot pics...
well maybe i should just write a post to you my dear master cause u seem to be the only one reading.
hehehe
i love you
talk to u later
kissssssssssses

update - so i did get my sleep. but this is something weird...i know i was saying that i was wet and horny and all that good stuff.... but im not any more. i mean i am wet and i would love to be fucked....but im not desperate horny. im not aching...now thats something weird!! lol. i havnt felt this in a while... yeah i know im weird!! lol

Helllo

Helloo...
So I have the internet right here but I am such a lazy ass. Please spank me for it!!
These past 3 days have been allright... I actually might have somewhat of a future plan...so yay to that!
But these past 3 days have been purely full of torture. My clit has been sooo needy. I stay wet all day long.
And then when he calls me.... I kinda forget everything around me... All I think about is our time together... I think about how wet I was that very first night when we walked into his hotel room and when he hugged me... I think about how tightly his cock fit in between my tight lips... I imagine what it would feel like to have him fuck me...(my freaking tight pussy didnt cooperate when he was here... can you imagine it... we had been waiting for it for so damn long... and then we count even do it... lol. oh well. it was still all good)
My clit craves the silver bullet he gave me oh so desperately.
More than anything I crave something painful. I just crave the sting, the burn...

Being so turned on is sooo not fun! I just want more and more..

EDIT - Being so turned on AND NOT BEING ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT, is soooo not fun!

I just want the US to become a planet... so that the east coast would be touching the west... and we wouldnt be so far apart!!
lol
just a thought...!!

I Miss You

I miss you baby.... very very much...
~bhumi

i dont even care if anyone i know reads this...
none of their damn business...lol

Friday night fun

Last night was just absolutely amazing with Master...
The way He was talking reminded me of the time when He was here...when He would pull my hair hard,.. when i would stare into His eyes... full of control.
Last night He called me a bitch, a bimbo, a slut, and just a whole bunch of other words that drive me insane.
We shared some kinky pictures.... i know He loves it when i spend time to find those kinky slutty pictures...
It gets me ready for him...

Last night i was already dripping wet waiting anxiously for Him...
And He was in a wild mood too...
Our 'session' went on long....
i first came once without touching... and it was fairly easy...
but then He kept teasing me
He did not even wait or let me rest after my first orgasm...i needed to cum again almost right away...
but i didnt... for a long long time...
and then i finally did cum.... without touching again...
it was such a strong orgasm...it felt great!!
By the time we were done, it was about 4:30AM eastern time.
i was completely exhausted and slept like a baby.

It was one amazingly HOT night!!

Thank you Master!
kisssssssssses


P.S. - I am going out of town tommorow and will probably be gone a week or so. All to do the fun job hunting! wish me luck!
take care everyone...shall update when i get back!
Tom... i am gonna miss you baby. i love you very much.
~b

Aching for Him

i wake up this morning... my body craving Him...
His words, His touch, his eyes, His smile....
my clit throbbing so very hard... so much that i dont feel like i control it.
i need His control....
for Him to pull my long black hair so hard and look deep into my eyes....

and then i throb some more....

i want to touch myself so bad....
i fear i might break the 'no touching-no cumming' rule...



i just broke the first part of the rule...
oh sooo wet... im oh so wet for Him...
sorry Master...

Back again....

So Master did get back last night.... and we had ups and downs... but it was a good time for us on a whole.
In the end, i came, i was happy, and just glad to be with Him.
i dont really have anything much to say otherwise...
Happy HNT to everyone!
Maybe i'll talk to Master and see what he thinks about me sharing pics too!!
;-)
have a good fun day!

The Ups & The Downs

Every relationship goes through their ups and downs, and we have had out fair share too.
i just had a really bad Sunday and that affected my behavior when Master came online Sunday night.
We talked a little and he sent me off to bed for my bad behavior.
Today morning when I got to talk to him... I had already reflected on how I felt. I appologized.
We talked about punishments.
Being in an online relationship makes situations really hard... I know I needed to be punished. And I knew very well that he just thinks that making me spank myself is absolutely stupid.
But I still needed that punishment... I wanted him to make me cry and be strict with me.
And no, I dont ask that because it is part of some fetish.
It is because I truly want to be a good slave for him. I want him to be proud of me... I want him to love me unconditionally... I want him to never be dissapointed in him...
And I did dissapoint him Saturday night... I wanted to be punished because I wanted to learn a lesson. I did not want to just get away with being a bitch.
I dont want to be a brat (that is just something I would be if it was play-time). I want to be his good girl.
And that was why I asked for it and craved to be punished.
And He did... he was dissapointed in my behavior and made it very obvious he was. He made me feel very sorry for my words and actions.
I would feel a lot better if he would just talk to me... but no... it was a punishment.
He told me to go to bed and think about things...
I hate it when he just tells me to go to bed like that
But this morning... when I woke up, it was worth it. I had a chace to think about things and what I did.

We thankfully got a chance to talk about several things this morning.
We talked about our relationship and about being realistic, atleast until we are seperated by our physical distance.
I put a lot of time and effort into this relationship.... I am very afraid of all that could happen tommorow...
I fear of never having a chance to say the things I want to say and expressing how I feel.
And that explains why I stay up for him.
Earlier into our relationship I would always just take lil naps and wake back up in the middle of the night.
I just cant do that any more...I worry too much about not being able to wake up...
We all just take life for granted.... someone will go to bed tonight and not wake up tommorow morning.
It is a very scary thing for me to think of...
And that is why I stay up and make the most of the time I spend with Him.
I am a submissive and I fulfill myself in doing things that always remind me of my place.
Staying up until very early in the morning is just a little thing...
it is the closest I can get to feeling like MYSELF in my vanilla world.

We face a lot of struggles and difficulties, and I admire and love how we just manage through all the ups and the downs.
And there are more obstacles down our path...
I can only pray and hope for the best.

Anyways, Master is off on a camping trip. And we decieded that it is best for me to just stay off the computer for a day or two.
I wasnt planning on doing this post tonight, but I had several things on my mind that I wanted Master to know of...
So,...yeah...thats why!

Anyways, hope you all have a wonderful week. I will probably be back Thursday.
hugs!

Misbehaved Bitch

i managed to did it again....i dissapointed Master.

Last night i came online just like every other night and waited for my Master.
In my head...i had just assumed that Master would come online by midnight, EST. i started to get a little annoyed by 12:30. i reallly was becoming a bitch and started to consider just going to bed without sending him any offline or without saying anything.
i completely forgot my place. i have waited for him in hte past... much longer than i had to wait last night... but my reaction last night was much different.
He came online at about 2:30 and when he saw my offline messages asking him where he was... he said, "how I love making you wait for me!"
i knew he did,.... and typically i would too. it always reminded me of his control, and superiority when i waited for him thru the wee hours.
i asked him about where he was and what was happening.. he had a friend over and they were watching a movie...
He soon realized that i was being a cold bitch and asked me if i was pissed off.
i did tell him i was a little bummed about the wait but also appologized.
He asked me about what i was feeling and why i was feeling that way.
He had never told me what time he was going to come online and it was my fault to just assume he would come online at a certain time.
He said that i was being a little bitch.
i agreed i was, appologized, asked for forgiveness...
i really deserved to be punished....
i forgot my place, and then i acted like a cold bitch when my Master came online.

He instructed me to write about this event on the blog.
He told me to think about what i want,.... and all i want is just for us to go back to how were were before last night... i just want to be punished and then i want us to just forget my reeally inappropriate behavior.
yesterday was a really bad day...and tthat was mainly the reason why i acted like such a bitch.

i also did another thing that i shouldnt have done....
after i started getting really bitchy about the wait... i broke one of His rules.
i went and put on my panties.
when i told Him about that He said that i needed to decide what i want.

i want us to be happy....i want Him to be proud of me
i was reallly sorry for how i acted and dissapointed him.

i behaved like a child... and He gave me a "time out" for it....
He asked me to tell him good night and kiss him and then go to bed.
I begged him to talk to me...he said he doesnt tolerate pouting.
my head was hurting at this point... nad my eyes red and swollen from the tears i shed at my own dissapointment.
i kissed Him goodnight and then turned off my laptop.
i had to cry myself to sleep cause i always disliked the mental punishments.

Master, i am again very sorry for my behavior. Please forgive me.

He also told me to describe an appropriate punishment for my actions...

so this is what i think would be appropriate...

For the rest of the week, i think stricter rules should be enforced. these rules should me much more intense compared to my current rules so that they will help me remember my place.
the punishment for breaking these rules should also be that much more intense.
Also...for the rest of the week i should put in really painful situations. When Master comes online every night, i should appear offline to everyone, and turn on my cam. i should not speak a word and wait for master to tell me what kind of physical pain he wants me to see in.
He could tell me to tie myself up, to clamp my tits and/or clit. i would just do as i am told to and show Him as i do so. once he tells me what to do, He would give me permission to speak. he would decide how long we stay online for the night. But i would stay in that painful situation until we say goodnights. i would only be allowed to untie myself, unclamp myself only after Master signs off.
Also on one of these days, i should be given a spanking. i would have to spank myself just the way Master would want me to...and i would have to do it as hard as i possibly could.
this should be the most painful spanking i have experienced....it would leave me sore and crying. once Master thinks the punishment is enough, he would make me stop.
At that point, i would have to kiss him goodbye and go to bed and think about my actions.
i should also write 'i will never forget my place' 250 or 500 times and send it to Master.
This week should test me...it should push me far...
i want to be reminded of my place every night. i want Him to be strict with me
at the end of my punishment, i will be very sorry and will never make a mistake like this again.

Master, please forgive me. i promise to be a good slave. Last night was just really immature. i acted like a child and im sorry. i will take the punishment you give me like a very good slave. i wont dissapoint you... please forgive me.


~ HIS slut/slave/whore/bitch

looking good...

Here is some pics i found... great looking ...
the brunette with the wavy/curly hair looks sooo HOT! ;-)
any favorites??

BOOORING

Shopping with mom and her friend.... was A BIG MISTAKE!
i am sooo damn fucking bored.
at a point i was soo bored i started cursing...and a lil kid heard me say the F word.
oops!
someone entertain me!!

blah

i really dont have much to say...
ive been watching a bunch of movies...YAY to Netflix!
i cant wait to talk to master tonight...
i miss him
have a good rest of the weekend everyone!

i am sooooo wet

yes....YET...
if u dont know what im tlaking about, read my last 2 posts..
this suddent burst of sexual energy is really driving me nuts
ahhhhhh
help me!! someone help me!!
lol

Still horny

i dont know what it is that is keeping me soo damn horny.
Master let me cum last night, and he did the night before that too.
but i just keep wanting more and more.
He is just a constant tease for me...and He knows it soo well!!

my thoughts and imaginations are just going wild...

last night something kinda funny happened...
well he is much older than me.. and so that gives him a lot of experience.
he has tried all kinda things... and im at an 'inexperienced' kinda rate in front of him
so i told him that i would do things that he had never done before... just to step up the kink factor...
i need some naughty kinky ideas now....
any suggestions??

i am willing to do just about anything to prove what a nympho i am....what i slut i am... and what a good little biiitch i am...
YES i am horny!!
lol
i feel like i need some kinda super-power vibrator...
mmmmmm
anyone else feeling horny out there???

Nympho

Last night was just directly right to business.
i told Him how horny i was and offered to get on cam for Him. (and that only means one thing!)
He asked me what got me into the mood...
i had been a little brat all day and was being a dirty bitch when i was tlaking to Him earlier.

Him: "you been wathcing porn?"
me: "no"

i told Him how wet i was just thinking about him and wanting His cum.

Him: "do you still want the whip?"
me: "yessssssss"
Him: "even after what padme said?"
me: "yes. i want it to be rough. i want things to hurt."
(i know with this i am doing just what padme did... i was begging for it...even though i am very well aware that it would HURT)

i got on cam and play with my body as he watched.
i got to spank my boobs and my pussy. my boobs looked so hot and red.
i came once....
but then soon after he turned me on again.

me: "my cliy hurtssss"
Him: "sont start again!"
me: "lol, you did it!"
Him: "I didnt do anything"
me: "yes you did turn me on."

Him: "are you touching?" (i was still on cam but focused on my face...)
me: "no Master"
Him: "good girl"
me: "i am ready to pull my hair out. oh my poor clit!!!"
Him: "dont touch it"
me: "im not. can i play with my boobs?"
Him: "no"


me: "im soooo horny. i need to cum again."
Him: "youre a nympho."
me: "yes. i am. i am a dirty little slut and your whore."
pause....
me: "oh god i shouldnt say this...im only turning myself on more! lol"
Him: "I should send you to bed with strict orders not to touch yourself."
me: "oh god please dont. pleaseee"
Him: "*kiss* go to bed baby."

i wanted to beg and pleade to him...
i was SO DAMN HORNY!!

me: "absolutely no touching?"
Him: "none."


ofcourse i didnt touch myself.. i only hoped i would be back to normal the next morning

i woke up this moring...and realized...taht i was only just as wet as i was when we were talking, if not more!
i went to bed wanting to cum like never before...and then woke uo with wanting to cum only twice as much!

an update?

Yes... i know i said i was going to get Master to do a post on here... and i am hoping to have something tonight!! *fingers crossed*

we did some sexy play last night...
i had looked at THIS post at padme's a few days back,... and it had grabbed my attention..

last night i randomly asked Him if He would ever use a whip like that on me...
it would be a possibility

now...my opnion...that is one scary looking thing... and the more i think about it...the more it scares me.
He described to me the things he would do with it....
leaving me scared and also very horny.

i have no experience with implements.... but i have always been afriad of the cane.
and now this scary looking whip seems to be taking the cane's place when it comes to my fears.

but no matter what the implement,.... it wouldnt matter. He would take care of me and He would always know what He would be doing.

just more the list of the things i love about Him!!

another one? how He can leave me throbbing and wet and oh so horny.
He did it the very first time i talked to him on the phone.
not only was i wet, horny and squirming, i was driivng too!!

He left me completely breathless.
i remember the frist time i talked to Him very well.
He left me equally horny and feeling equally submissive when we returned to the hotel room after our dinner. (on our first night together).

He did it again last night. :-)

I love you Master. XOXO